Rob Dyrdek buys romance novels

An Open Letter To Rob Dyrdek:

Dear Rob,

I greatly enjoyed your show “Rob & Big” featuring your inane adventures with voodoo priestesses, buying time machines off of eBay, eating dog-food, campaigning to have your photo on Good Friends cereal and wood-chipping an evil cat statue – all were highly entertaining.  

You new “Fantasy Factory” show hasn’t made as much of a connection with me, but LUCKILY FOR YOU, you are on right before The CollegeHumor Show. I always tune in as I went to college* with two of the members of the Cast, and I’ll catch a bit of you as well since you’re on right beforehand.

Last night started out blissfully perfect. Since fantasies come to life in your Fantasy Factory, you were generously sweet in creating areas for your visiting family. You dad got an awesome Indoor Golf Simulator virtual game area. And you showed me that your mom, Patty, and I have a lot in common. What would be a dream room in any place I visit???

A reading room of romance novels of course!

 I was so impressed when you and Drama were shopping for used books and he had the audacity to laugh at this amazing genre of books and you replied, “Who am I to judge?”

rob_dyrdek_romance_novels1THANK YOU! We are all entitled to our own opinions and I was so happy that you appreciated others’ love for romance novels and cut short any further laughter at our expense.

BUT THEN YOU RUINED IT.

Then you compared romance novels to Playboy…what happened to your not judging? What happened to your open minded approach to your mom’s favorite things? You had no right to make that comparison without even reading a Harlequin, Silhouette, or Avon romance, if you did you would see there is no way it could be considered close to porn.

Smart bitches read romance. While the plots and characters within these books might be fantasies of the reader, the reasons we enjoy them are no different than other genres.

Even worse, you went on to censor all the lusty bits with a black marker! Claiming they were “inappropriate” for your mom to read. That smacked of hypocrisy.

But then WORST OF ALL you accused your mom of hypocrisy. She was upset by your use of vulgarity and curse words in the script and movie you just made. And you replied, “It’s no different than one of your romance novels.” Your dad added, “Good one son.”

Poor Patty! She did not deserve to stand alone in the face of such ignorance. I salute her, along with the other 64.6 million Americans who read romance.

Now that you ruined that fantasy, I would be happy to take any of those uncensored used romance novels off your hands.

Sincerely,

Lusty Reader

*go deacs

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16 Responses

  1. It’s a good thing the Bookstore I work at prints out labels with section information on each book, because I swear, going by cover art alone, there’s a lot of stuff I’d file in sci-fi, horror, or beatiality that I would never think for a moment belonged to be in romance.

  2. It’s definitely been an ever changing genre,- the clinch-cover/bodice ripper seems like it used to be front and center in the 80s, no way you could mistake that for anything BUT a romance novel. But now they’re saving that for the step-back inside. And with the rise of paranormal/suspense plot lines the cover art is definitely more diverse.

    Also, less embarassing to read on the metro.

  3. I have to admit, I shamelessly adore Rob & Big. I never think to watch it, but if I pass by I’ll always stop, and I end up watching the whole episode, or ALL the episodes if it’s a marathon. The two of them are just so damn funny.

    I forgive him.

  4. He IS charming and forgiveable in a weird and cute way…

  5. Haha. This made me laugh, Lusty. Great post!

  6. Glad to make you laugh! I owe his shows for all the laughs he’s given me anyway!

  7. haha wow you have issues Lusty Reader. Maybe you shouldn’t take comedic insight towards poor writing so personally. As for the comparison to Playboy, well I can’t disagree with Mr. Dyrdek. FEMNAZI!

  8. I <3 him, I wish it was me and him in those books!

  9. First of all Playboy isn’t porn, it’s far from porn. Romance novels are the easiest way to read sex/porn in novel without being perverted. You can’t even start to say Romance novels don’t get a little intricate. A more reserved way is to read it/that’s a compliment. Some just don’t try to hide it.

  10. rob just posted your blog on twitter. lucky you

  11. Woah. Settle down “lusty” reader. LOL he’s seriously mad.

  12. Well I have to say this…although I dont know Rob personally I feel I do by his shows…he to me is a very kind hearted individual and does nothing but lives his life to the fullest trying to make others laugh…and as you can see America loves him…Now if you ask me the books are good but yet, like the one he read some do have some things said in them that is a bit much…My 8 yr old son loves to read books and goes to the Library quite often…Im sorry but I would die if my son ever picked a book like this up and read it…Because the things that are said in that book well I myself wouldnt repeat to another person much less let my son run upon it on one of his trips to the Library…Yes I guess they are appropriate for a certian age and not a child but I do also agree with Rob that some of the things said in those books are a bit much!

  13. WoW, you called his mom a smart bitch!

    I thought that episode of Rob Dyrdeks Fantasy Factory was funny, I mean, he was only trying to create a fantasy area for his mom with all the romance novels, but Rob made it funny. I doubt he was trying to offend his mom, or anybody else who reads these novels. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though!

    “You can complain because roses have thorns,
    or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”
    -Ziggy

  14. “Smart bitches” don’t read romance novels. Lonely bitches do. “Smart Bitches” read books that are actually thought provoking. Not books that play into a womans sexual fantasy. I’m going to have to defend Rob about them being like playboy. Playboy may not be porn but it’s a mans version of a romance novel. All of their sexual fantasies laid out in a magazine. Normal women look and act nothing like the girls in playboy. Just like most men don’t act like the ones from your books. So get offended all you want it really is like a playboy.

    Also, I love rob and big. And his new show, the fact is if he said nothing about it and just put them into his moms room it wouldn’t be funny and entertaining. And it wouldn’t be Rob. I mean seriously how boring woul d his shows be if he wasn’t allowed to have his own opinion just because people like you get a little offended at something so dumb. From what I can tell Rob is someone who is genuinely nice and helps people more than a lot of celebrities. So just cut him some slack.

  15. I am not a reader of romance novels, but my mother-in-law is. She has hundreds of these books spilling out of book shelves in her home. I am though a fan of Rob & Big & the Fantasy Factory. I think the point he was getting at is that when you think of your parents & sex, it kind of grosses you out. But our parents do have a sex life . How else would we be here? But I don’t think we try to analyze this show or any ‘hidden meanings’ that may or may not be there. It’s an easy, mindless show to watch, which is another reason why I watch it. Sometimes in this world I just want to be mindless if not for more than a 1/2 hour a week.

  16. Come off it guys, this was all in good fun, no need to take it so seriously. Rob’s a hilarious jokester and I was joking too, it was meant to be a “tongue-in-cheek” letter.

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