Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

I’m being a bad book blogger, so F it, I’m blogging about MOI today.

Yesterday was HORRID, not the WORST EVER, but pretty gosh darn bad. Here’s the dilio:

  1. If you are squeamish, skip this one – At 8:10am yesterday after being awake for approximately 50 minutes I drove to work and hit a squirrel. In 10 years of driving I have never hit any type of animal. I was traumatized. I saw it’s tail out of the corner of my eye on one side of the car, drew in a deep breath as I couldn’t avoid the inevitable, tightened my hands on the steering wheel, screamed, then FELT AND HEARD it’s little skull hit my undercarriage, little crunches of bones, and then saw it fly out the other side of my car. Then I called hubby and cried. Later in the day I called him and cried again and told him we needed to adopt another dog to make up for my murderous ways. I am totally traumatized.
  2. I tried to break off a piece of some peanut brittle out of the shared fridge and bent my fingernail so far back it showed the flesh underneath and swelled up and bled under the nail and it’s all purple.
  3. I think my office is giving me Sick Building Syndrome (my hypochondriac friend told me about that gem) but really I’m sure many desk-jockey/cubicle monkeys feel the same way – after hours of sitting in overly filtered, too cold air, staring at a computer screen, and sitting still I get a headache and feel woozy. SO ANYWAY I took a break to walk around the block and get some fresh air. It was cloudy and looked like it might rain, and a big fat drop landed on my arm. While looking up at the sky I rubbed it away, but it felt slimy. I looked down and found a GIANT BIRD POOP smeared all over my hand and arm. FML.
  4. This weekend in Chicago I gained back the 5lbs I just lost so my bridesmaid dress I have to wear in 3 weeks barely zippers up.

There were several redeeming qualities about the day, however:

A) I wore my new cute headband to dinner

freakishly dark

freakishly dark

freakishly light, i need a tan

freakishly light, i need a tan

B) I got a swirl margarita from Lauriol Plaza (yes it is a cliche restaurant with avergage mexican food that is overpriced, but it is a Dupont staple and HOT DAMN are those margaritas tasty. They even cheer you up after you murder a squirrel)

C) My family is adorbs and makes me happy even after murdering a squirrel, bending my fingernail halfway back, getting fatter, and getting shat on by a bird:



16 Responses

  1. You should’ve gotten a cat: they’d kill squirrels for you.

    Don’t feel bad: the squirrel assumed the risk by running into the road. Also, I hit at least half a dozen deer in about a decade. Now I have no car, so I’m hoping I don’t hit a deer anymore.

  2. I once ran over a bunny. I drove away scared thinking the bunny was going to find me and kill me.
    The poor wee little bunny :(

    I think I have do not want to work syndrome.

    Nice headband!

  3. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I would die! I’ve never hit anything (that I knew of) and I hope I never do… at least it was just a squirrel though. Everyone knows they’re just rats in cuter outfits…

  4. Snay: agreed, not having a car is the best way to avoid this situation. i NEVER drive to work, so after taking the metro the past 873249 days this is what i get for driving. sigh.

    katiebabs: hi!!!! thanks for visiting! sadness for the wee rabbit, is there some sort of “atonement fund” that we can participate in?

    lilu: it was horrid, the SOUND keeps running through my brain. every few hours or so i’ll just think of it and cringe.

  5. Your Lauriol review is spot on.

    And I could use a margarita good enough to cheer me up after murdering a squirrel. Not that I murdered a squirrel today. But if I did, now I know where to go.

  6. I’ve only been to Lauriol Plaza once, but I enjoyed the swirl margaritas by the pitcher! They definitely make you forget any previous (bad) parts of the day :)

  7. f.B: it may be overhyped and overpriced but sometimes its worth selling out and going

    bookworm: *closing eyes dreamily* yum a pitcher of swirl margaritas

  8. Isn’t it considered luck to get shat on by a bird? :D

  9. haha, that is so true about lauriol. all my complaints fall to the wayside due to those swirlies. mmmmmmmmm….

    adore the headband!

    have done that to my nail before and WOW does it hurt more than it should.

  10. Never be afraid to write about yourself, we all love each other.

    Also I’m dying to go to Lauriol but I had that impression of the place even without setting foot in it.

  11. That sounds like one heck of a day! Holy… but an amazing family, a cute headband and a drink will usually fix all the bad things ;)

  12. nice headband… you must have found that while shopping with someone special :-)

  13. Olga: I think the ever elusive “they” made that up to make people with bird poop on them feel better.

    Alice: the headband is by Tasha, I would strongly recommend one to recover from a backwards-bent nail

    Reederscorner: you hit the nail on the head!

    My bestest bestie: the ones we bought together in Soho were just getting me warmed up. After those mini flowers I felt ready to go all out. My mom bought it with me ;)

  14. Awesome headband! I have found that there aren’t many things for which a nice accessory is not a cure. Good Margaritas help, as well.

    I hit a possum once (or an opossum, if we want to be technical about it. But who calls them opossums anyway?). It made me cry all night and put me off of food for like two days. I also had a bird crap right on the top of my head a few years back, as I was getting in to my car to go to work.

    Nice that we have so many wonderful things in common, isn’t it?


  15. […] had horrible days before – for some reason it’s never just one thing with me and for some reason WEIRD things happen […]

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