Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer

Earlier today I tweeted:

“the best thing about Breaking Dawn? IT IS OVER. GAH no more reading about TSTL martyr bella”

That was one of 34982 twitters I wrote about the end of the Twilight series, back and forth with MyLittleBecky, Olga, and Rachel – clearly I need a larger platform that 140 characters on this subject.

Basically the Twilight books are not for me. Written from Bella’s point of view I only see her as she sees herself and she doesn’t think she’s anything special, so neither do I. I love the expression TSTL heroine I picked up from my romancelandia book blogs: TSTL = too stupid to live and that is Bella. That’s why everyone is always trying to kill her, she is too stupid to live.

In fact – she sucks at life. Ahahahaha I CRACK MYSELF UP. God this post is going nowhere good in a hurry.

anti_twilightAfter finishing Twilight and New Moon I blogged extensively on my dislike of them, but then revised my opinion after reading Ms. Meyer’s draft from Edwards point of view Midnight Sun which gave me much better insight into why the characters were acting the way they were and why I shouldn’t hate them. But those positive feelings dissolved as I read Eclipse, the third book in the series.

I was SO angry with Jacob when he forced his “punishing kisses” on Bella, and really pissed off she didn’t hurt him when she punched him. I was 100% on her side and disgusted with Jacob’s behavior.

But I had NO idea what true disgustingness lay ahead.

When Bella did admit to herself AND TO POOR JACOB that she did love him romantically and she had fantasies of them having little black haired babies together but STILL CHOSE TO BE WITH EDWARD I was done. Closed the book and did not want to read anymore.

Sigh, it was the action that drew me back in, and the curiosity to find out why Edward couldn’t read Bella’s mind and why none of the Volturi’s mind weapons worked on Bella. I sucked it up and drove myself to finish the series.

I do think the writing got “smarter” over time, in the first books I felt insulted, like it was written like I was stupid, and I felt dumber after reading them. With the last two books it didn’t feel quite as “dumbed down.” I also thought the creativity with the old vampire legends, South American vampire myths, types of vampire gifts and powers, werewolves, and shapeshifters, was much improved and intriguing.

I will readily admit though I was really looking forward to the hott sexxoring between Edward and Bella on their honeymoon, as he always said, “You are so human with your hormones,” and it’s true! Sadly there were no lusty scenes. Bella reliving them vaguely after the fact was just “OK” for me, but I do realize these books are Young Adult.

So Breaking Dawn started off fine, my heart broke for Jacob (for the 14th time) but I was enjoying the read. Then I was twilightoverratedshocked when Bella become pregnant, like all I could think was “Isn’t Edward dead? Rock hard [heheh] How could he have live sperm in him?” I thought WAY too much about this.

Then I was even MORE shocked when the books switched to Jacob’s POV for hundreds of pages. His narrative voice was so immature, in keeping with his character, but I was still annoyed when he said things like “BFF,” and I was pissed that we navigated away from Bella just when her POV would be the most interesting! She was pregnant! I want to know why she decided to keep it and what the experience was like for her!

But boy did I change my mind and was I ECSTATIC that we DIDN’T get her POV because the whole pregnancy was absolutely foul. Horrendous. Nauseating. Vile.

I was so queasy reading about Bella’s bones breaking, bruises all over her belly, her drinking blood as a human, a rock hard uterus/placenta, imagining little vampire teeth growing in her only to bite their way out of her… My physical reaction of these disgusting events was such that I had to close the book and walk around waiting for the feeling that I might vomit to pass. So THANK YOU Ms. Meyer for not making us read that from Bella’s POV.

But again, this just wasn’t for me, Bella offering to martyr herself over and over again didn’t prove the depth of her love, just the depths of her stupidity.

I couldn’t relate to her character, the story line just took paths that I couldn’t digest: the vampire baby, Jacob’s heart being broken multiple times, and finally Bella becoming a vampire.

I realized this fit in with a couple of other scenarios that didn’t work for me. I blogged about how I don’t like reading about fake princes and princesses like I mentioned in Christina Dodd’s The Prince Kidnaps a Bride, or gods as I wrote about Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Fantasy Lover, and while I enjoy my fantasy romance novels, there has to be more elements of reality in my Heroines and Heroes for me to truly love the story. Apparently my suspension of disbelief only goes so far, so I HATED that Bella became a vampire.

Although she is an AWESOME vampire, her having fun with her super powers, watching her transformation, and dizzying strength against the Volturi were definitely highlights for me.

But again I was disgusted with Jacob imprinting on and falling madly in love with Bella’s and Edward’s half vampire baby, Renesmee (retarded name also). Just grossed me out.

So to sum up this fairly incoherent rant? While the last two books in the series had improvements and highlights, the story line and character arcs did not appeal to me as a reader.

  • Eclipse: C grade
  • Breaking Dawn: F Grade

And I swear on whatever is holy in the blogosphere I will NEVER EVER RE-READ THESE BOOKS.


14 Responses

  1. Renesmee is a ridiculous name! I couldn’t stand it. Also, when she was born I just kept imagining her as this crazy bloodsucking monstrous baby and it deeply disturbed me. I ended up liking the book once they got to the Volturi parts and I finally really started to like Bella because she was finally doing more than just being a scared kid basically. It did bother me a lot though that they let her do everything perfectly after they spent so much time talking about how hard it is to adjust to becoming a vampire.

  2. Breaking Dawn is the ultimate Twilight Zone book. So, I can get that Bella is preggers but come one, Jacob is her daughter’s imprinted mate? Can we saw EWWW?? Jacob has been lusting after Bella for so long and now after her daughter? Eww le eww..

  3. Twilight is DEF. not for me either and if I could buy that shirt right now, I totally would! It was a little too “I love you” “No I love you more” for me… ugh

  4. “Renesmee (retarded name also)”

    ***YES!!!!!*** thank you! i almost spewed things out of things. and chuck said, “what?” and i said, “it’s this-” and he said (rather smugly) “oh, a blog…”

    pretty much, pretty much. i mean c’mon! with babies and marriage and the bleeeerchgg.

  5. Cassie: even Nessie was an improvement. I also liked the Volturi parts, though was SO surprised there was no physical confrontation and they just went away peacefully!

    Katiebabs: totally agreed! i mean what was the thought process on jacob falling in love with bella and edward’s 1/2 vampire baby? in WHAT universe is that a good idea? gah-ross.

    reederscorner: i will admit i was a little afraid after i posted this i would get hate mail from all the “omg squee” fans, but obvi we’re not the only ones these books didn’t work for!

    mylittlebecky: blogs are the bestest

  6. Wait a minute…wait…someone who doesn’t like Twilight?

    I thought there was a constitutional amendment out there demanding that everyone unjustly love this book.

  7. “…curiosity to find out why Edward couldn’t read Bella’s mind and why none of the Volturi’s mind weapons worked on Bella.”

    Ha! Just two of the MANY questions which Meyer never fully answers in these books, even though she oh-so-neatly and a bit too conveniently wraps everything else up in a nice, loving, non-violent bow. Horrid!!!! And horribly frustrating.

    Your reviews are much the same as mine were. And my heart, too, was broken for Jacob. Ah, well…this trend too shall pass…hopefully before they actually try to make BD in to a movie, cuz I seriously do NOT want to see that whole pregnancy on film.

  8. MJenks: i can see why some 14 year old girls would like them, but i am not the target audience and have different reading tastes than the way the story line unfolded. i’m just glad the 90834257 million people who DO love this book don’t read my blog, or at least haven’t sent me hate mail yet

    Karen: *SIGH* I know, there were some minor threads left dangling. And I’m sorry to say but they are DEFNIITELY making all 4 movies, I saw it on Perez Hilton so it must be true.

  9. Here’s your hate mail- I loved these books. I didn’t want to love them. I am embarassed that I love them. I do not like young adult books like this ever. But I read them each in like 4-5 hours. I loved the 4th one and didn’t think the entire wrap up was necessary. It would have been thousands of pages. You have to remember these were written for 14 year old girls, and if you take it for what it is, it was entertaining. But obvi Renesmee was the worst name of all time. Should you find yourself in the metro-Boston area June 17th, you are welcome to the viewing of the movie at my home, with my 4 die-hard fan friends. We’re having red wine and I’m making red velvet cupcakes.

  10. I found your blog by searching for a Twilight quote…go figure. I am ashamed to say that I have read all four books and am definitely obsessed a wee bit with Edward. I read your updated review of Twilight/New Moon and saw that you changed your mind after reading Ms. Meyer’s draft of Midnight Sun. I couldn’t agree more. Bella was an annoying protagonist to have to view the events through… but I also think she is kind of “every girl” – so blah in Twilight that young girls can picture themselves as Bella.

    I, too, hated Breaking Dawn. Something tragic should have happened to at least 1 werewolf and 1 vampire. C’mon! No one died? That seemed just lame as an ending. Never mind that Edward can’t shed a tear over anything but he can have an orgasm? What?

    I was an English major in college and if my university profs knew I read and liked Twilight, I’m sure my degree would be revoked. I consider Ms. Meyer a peddler of literary junk food. I hate myself for loving it, but it goes down so easily. And I’m craving more immediately. The movies at least provide some visual gratification (although I’m praying they give up and not make BD into a movie).

    Thanks for providing your POV on the series. I hate that I loved the story of Edward and Bella.

  11. Oh. My. God. I have found someone that also hates Twilight. Thank you thank you thank you! How have I not found your blog until now??

  12. Yes I really really dislike the Twilight series it’s idiotic. I have lots of friends that are crazy for Edward, including my roommate but that is besid the point. I read a lot of different books. The Dark series by Christine Feehan, Amelia Atwater-Rhodes books when I was younger, The Riley Jenson Guardian series, Jennifer Armintrout’s Blood Ties and Jocelynn Drakes nightwalkers series. Guess what, VAMPIRES were never meant to sparkle, and Bella is an nitwit. Which brings me to another thing.
    Tiffany’s statement: Bella was an annoying protagonist to have to view the events through… but I also think she is kind of “every girl” – so blah in Twilight that young girls can picture themselves as Bella.
    You really think every girl wants to be like Bella. I know better maybe they all want to be that way were your from. And I especially didnt want to be like that when I was younger. Instead I would rather be out living my life not complaining about everything.
    Well back to what I was saying I agree with you Lusty Reader.

  13. twilight and all saga are so cool:X:X…………..i say just………fu

  14. Ugh! I remember when Reader told me about both the baby’s birth and the whole imprint thing. That just ain’t right Ms. Meyer! Not right at all.

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