Hotter than Brad Pitt

Successful relationships have a healthy dose of compromise. One such area in my household is our Netflix queue. Hubby does not enjoy romcoms, disney movies, musicals or most historical dramas. Woe is me.

I do not enjoy horror, gory war, or immature/toilet humor movies, or very manipulative drama with sad endings (ex: Mystic River, Gran Torino…[apparently all Clint Eastwood films?]). Woe is him.

We have only found a few films that make it to the coveted center of our Venn diagram of preferences: any baseball movies, most Judd Apatow, and I randomly enjoy mobster movies.

Since those that meet both our tastes are few and far between we’ve solved our netflix conundrum by taking turns picking the next movie we get. Hubby did throw out the suggestion of bumping up our netflix subscription so we could get two movies at the same time, but nothing is more depressing sounding to me than both of us going to separate rooms in the house and spending hours watching TV apart from each other. We’re still newlyweds – and even when we’re not I hope we don’t become that type of couple.

So. We take turns with netflix. Last week was hubby’s turn. He rented Inglorious Basterds...yeah. I didn’t need to look up any spoilers, between knowing the director was Tarantino, and I heard they scalped Nazis (PS: they edited in the SOUND of scalping, the sound of the knife sawing through the skin and hair *gagging*), and just from the snippets of commercials were all enough for me to be SURE this was not my type of film.

Of course hubby wanted my company and tried to convince me to watch with him. As I stubbornly refused for the 8th time with my arms petulantly crossed he said with a canny smile, “I know what will convince you! If you watch it, you’ll get to see hot Brad Pitt for 2 hours!”

My body jerked with shock and my mouth dropped open. It’s like every time I think he knows me I realize we can always learn new things about each other.

“Um, I don’t think Brad Pitt is hot. He doesn’t do it for me at all.”

Now it was his turn to be shocked.

Yep, sorry y’all but who so many consider to be the Paragon of Gorgeousness, the reigning champ of handsome, the denizen of Hotness City leaves me feeling a little…cold. A little m’eh, if you will. Neither Clooney, nor Smith Jared from SATC, nor Daniel Craig nor many of the other supposed hotties push my buttons.

So who holds that place in my lusty little heart? I shared some of the leading men in MY personal Book Of Good Looking Gentlemen with hubby and now I will with you!

I think my tastes go for more of the “cute,” and “charming,” and “normal looking-but-boyishly-handsome” look. And I’m sure subconsciously the actors’ personalities factor in a teensy bit. Brad Pitt types maybe just remind me of all the popular hot guys who were mean to me in my youth.

I figure posting these pictures on my blog are the grown-up-21st century-version of tearing them out of Teen magazine and putting them on my wall in 90’s-middle-school-style:

 

Oh Jake-ie-poo, I want to hug you and cuddle you and never let go.

Dear John, you are so cute I want to squeeze you ’till your heads pops off. Love, Lusty. PS: especially when you give the camera your “Jim Look”

Casey Affleck needs to be in more movies! I really only liked him when he had long hair in Good Will Hunting but my residual crush is alive and well!

I’m so sorry I didn’t know who Mark Valley was before I saw Human Target on TV this year. Not pictured: how fucking built he is! Pictured: just LOOK at those dimples! I watched this TV show every week, and it was ok, but I really just wanted to stare at him.

I need a time traveling DeLorean so I can go back and pinch the young-Michael J. Fox’s cheeks. Three words for him: a. dor. able!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now for my favorite to end all favorites, my reigning champ of my Book Of Good Looking Gentlemen:

Oh Matt, your smile makes me all tingly inside. I think I kissed you on my TV screen when I first watched Good Will Hunting.

So peoples, these are my men. I think they are all WAY better looking than Brad Pitt. Will you commence the rotten tomato throwing, or does anyone feel the same as me?

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17 Responses

  1. Unsurprisingly, when it comes to talking about boys, I had to just ZOOM over here to comment. :wink:

    Nope, Brad Pitt doesn’t do it for me. Hasn’t since I read that he was the smelliest actor in America (apparently, not so much with the deodorant — eww). I will totally cope to Clooney though. He’s just so distinguished looking, and I like that he’s a man’s man and that he seems to genuinely have a fantastic sense of humor.

    No, for me, I like my men-folk dirty. Beckham, Josh Holloway, Taylor Kitsch. All kind of…grungy. Which is hilarious, but IRL I would never stand for it. But nothing does it for me like a bad boy.

    You and my BF Ame would get along SO well. She loves, loves, loves John Krasinski. Well, really, the clean cut guy is what she goes for.

    But I agree, Matt Damon is a cutie patootie, and you can’t deny his hotness in the Bourne movies, that’s for sure!

  2. Kati: hahaha, i should have known you’d come a’runnin!

    i totally know what you mean about liking the grunge, but that it would never work in real life!

    and yes, i am a fan of clean cut, sort-of-almost-dorky guys.

    and oooooo i also like Beckham, more for his body though, and as long as he doesn’t open his mouth. I can’t stand his accent.

  3. Hm, well I feel the same way about Matt Damon that you do about Brad Pitt. He’s a very good actor and I’ve liked a lot of his movies, but I don’t find him particularly attractive. Sorry.

    That being said, Brad Pitt doesn’t do much for me, either. Hugh Jackman, though–rawr! He is seriously the most attractive man on the planet right now.

  4. I can’t stand his accent.

    As I say to my roommate every time she brings up Beckham’s accent. Yeah…I don’t need him to speak, unless it’s dirty talk. And hell, I’ll take that accent any day when it’s talking dirty to me. :)

  5. Brad Pitt..fine..I could take him or leave him

    But Clooney – really? Mr. “I’m going to do you dirty in the bedroom” eyes..gasp Charlotte, just GASP!

    :)

  6. heidenkind: awww no matt damon love for you? sadness. and yeah, ever since wolverine came out i feel like hugh jackman’s stock went through the roof!

    kati: haha, true, now is your roommate the same one who also loves Jim Halpert/John K? i think i need to meet her!

    Mandi: i know, maybe it’s just because Pitt and Clooney are the GO TO GUYS for everyone on their hot list and i feel rebellious about it. i mean clooney is dreamy, but not tingly inducing for me.

    like clooney is not accessible in the least. lol well none of these guys are, but he specifically doens’t SEEM accessible, where as matt damon seems more “normal” to me somehow, which i think it what i find more attractive.

  7. I am not a huge fan of Brad – take him or leave him. Now Nir Lavi – he’s not in any movies but wow. Just wow. He’s a male model – google him.

  8. Isn’t Matt Damon a cutie? ;)

  9. ooh, i know what you mean about the “accessible” thing. although older men just don’t do it for me, so i REALLY don’t get the clooney thing. at least brad pitt looks awfully good for his age.. clooney just looks OLD! and hence kind of creepy :-)

    man, you must really have a thing for valley, because that show was NOT GOOD ;-) i wanted to like it so much – studly main man, lots of action, witty repartee – but it just never came together. alas.

  10. Brad was a lot hotter before he took over the care of 18 kids. Now the whole family is a little creepy. But Brad in Meet Joe Black will always have a special place in my heart…yuuuummmmmmyyyy.

    I have never gotten Clooney either, just don’t see it. Maybe I am too infatuated with Ryan Reynolds to see past his abs. :)

  11. I think Brad Pitt has gotten better with age but I certainly don’t think he’s the hottest man on the planet. I reserve that for Gerard Butler or Jason Statham. Both are so beautiful.

  12. Glad to meet someone else who realizes that the sun does not rise and fall with Brad Pitt or Clooney or Craig or Mcconaughey etc. *hallelujah!!!* :-)

    I absolutely adore Thomas Jane, Matt Damon, Jon Abrahams (he was in the movie, Prime…totally drool worthy), Jonathan Cake, Bryan Greenberg (another fellow Prime alum), Sean Connery, Hugh Jackman, Mark Harmon, Mark Wahlberg, Pierce Brosnan just to name a few.

  13. I hereby confess I don’t like Brad Pitt and George Clooney.

    My picks:

    * 360° hottest : Christian Bale (!!!)
    * indie hottie: Adrian Grenier (I have a tiny little crush on him)
    * best abs on screen: Ryan Reynolds
    * versatile award: Michael Vartan
    * cheeky award: Gerard Butler

  14. Lily: id never heard of Nir Lavi before, wowza, those eyes!

    KB: hes a cutie patootie no doubt. love. him. to. pieces.

    Alice: either way, Mark Valley needs some long running TV show that he can star in, and be in EVERY scene so i can continue to gaze upon his hotness.

    Kindleicious: exactly! some actors’ real lives just turn me off, Brad is the perfect example of that. why yes i AM team aniston!

    Linda: i completely agree on Jason Statham, he is another one of my faves i forgot! but gerard butler…hmmmm. i really havent made up my mind about him. i HATE how he does fake american accents in all of his movies. he sounds like he’s chewing on gravel when he talks.

    Anna: ugghhhh, McConnaghy *shudder* i despise him. what a vapid twit.

    oooo and mark wahlberg is SUPER yummy. do i have a thing for Boston boys?!

    Emily: haha love the Rose&Grave terminology! i would definitely share Adrian Grenier with you. And are you an ALIAS fan?!?!? that’s when i fell in love with Michael Vartan so now i think it’s so weird that people think dorky Will (bradley cooper) is hot now.

  15. That Jim look is very very sexy! :) *swoon*

  16. I am a totally incompetent blogger who does not know how to subscribe to comments properly.
    I watched my fair share of ALIAS, Michael Vartan is way hotter than Bradley Cooper !
    I am reading Tap and Gown, hence the terminology :)

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